El Terriblé
I’m back in the land of the living from Burning Man 2007. And other than wanting to sacrifice one of my campmates in the still burning embers of the man, I had a pretty good time.
I also earned a playa nickname (finally, after 4 years) of “El Terriblé.” People are still telling me what I did to earn the name. I think it involved making a ton of bad, dirty jokes, wearing a pirate hat, and wandering around yelling “Land a Ho!” maybe… It also involved passing out in inopportune places… And tearing the shit out of my right shin… And … yea….
This is also the first year I left early. Right after the man went up in flames, I decided it was time to peace out. This was the first year I watched the man burn from the comfort of a lawn chair 500 yards back (I’m usually in the burn circle).
I really felt the hate this year. There were a couple of times when people just somehow (probably because I had no vitamins left in my body, was dehydrated, hung over, and cranky, … but still…) instantly made me feel like an asshole.
And for each one of these times, someone also talked me back to normality, gave me water and vitamins (even though I had my own), and hung out with me until I felt good again (thanks, Jess!)…
A few observations:
- Since when did Art Cars stop being the Black Rock City Reverse-Taxi (they take you where they are going), and start being exclusive playa yachts?
- Anyone who consistently asks what time it is needs a) a bitch slap, or b) to get a fucking watch. This is Burning Man - there are no plans… So stop making me your time piece.
- God damn it was hot this year, esp. on Friday.
- Rain on the playa? Amazing. Rainbows on the playa? Un-fucking-believable. Two Rainbows at once on the playa? yea… wow…
- Steam Baths are amazing - if you get a chance, I highly, highly recommend you try one. And do it naked. With 13 other naked people. Amazing experience.
- Less food, more water next year (I actually ran out this year, luckily on Friday right before I left).
- Camp Enyo needs to be more community oriented. No more “this is mine, that is yours” bullshit. Burning Man is not about that. Trust me, we’ll have enough wet wipes. Don’t worry about it. (see the one about the time, too… We need a clock that runs backwards, or in arbitrary ways…)
- Evaporative cooling is amazing. I smell project for next year maybe?
- Holy crap, did I get drunk… what happened?
- I only made one really good connection this year. I had one really good conversation. Same person. Therefore this year was a success. I hope that person is willing to keep in touch (you know who you are). I was in a bad mood the last day (see rant about camp mate), so I worry that I may have pissed this person off… but who knows…
- Take more photos, damnit! I didn’t get out much during the day (combating hang overs, usually), and that really stunted the amount of photos I took this year. =(
- Convincing someone that they “should” (I really hate that word) go to Burning Man is foolish, and stupid.
- Mixing playa golf and the lifeguard skit was so much fun. Skipping hole #4, and #6- #17 was a good call. The fourth hole sucked anyway…
- Swing dancing, in a pile of dust, in a bar, in the middle of nowhere, with someone I (at the time) didn’t know was a helluva lot of fun. Especially since she was either an instructor or just knew a lot of dance, and let me get away with not having a clue about what I was doing… She also taught me to tango, though I don’t remember it well… I love non-pretentious people who know how to have a good time.
- The Self-Flangelator? This year’s Deep Stupid project… easily the most fun I’ve had on playa (see photos to come).
- The shade structure (camo nets and poles) off the dome worked out splendidly this year.
- Jump suits are where it’s at. You gotta keep the insides as dust-free as possible, though. And make sure you get it too big (mine’s not “too big” enough…).
- Jameson!
- Jaegermeister!
- Sailor Jerry’s!
- But not all at once… =(
- Drop all your preconceived ideas, and just be for a week. Just be.
In short: holy damn. Going and not working is all it’s cracked up to be. And as cliché and annoying I think this phrase is: Burning Man sucks, don’t go. 
