the daily dub

Ran into Jeanette today; she seemed pretty excited to see me! Maybe my luck is changing… Anyways, I missed the bus today cuase my teacher lectures right until 12 noon. So, here I am, waiting for a ride to my car to I can head out to work. Hopefully, Human Resources wont keep me there too long so I can do my prelab and get a fucking nap. God damn you, Andy!

I don’t know what part of being drunk makes people think its cool to pound on your door and scream your name at 3:45 am! I’ve been drunk before, and I’ve never even thought of that. God damnit, Andy, stop waking me up! Is it possible for you to keep your god damn mouth shut when you are drunk?

So, my English 253 Professor, who seems pretty cool, has reminded me today that appearances are deceiving. He said there would be no “memorization” type questions on the test we had today, but half the questions went a little something like this:

“In the first sentence of paragraph/stanza two, Blake says the following:”, followed by 4 choices that all sounded like William Blake, from the particular poem we were talking about, with only one being the right answer…. God damn, I got spanked big time. I’d say I guessed on 50% of the problems.

Ok, so the truth is… I feel like I have no one to talk to. Now, I know this isn’t true, but sometimes it feels that way. I lost the person I felt the most comfortable talking to, the person I could say anything too and not get the “your a nut case” look. Also, IM-ing people just isn’t nearly as good as a good long night of talking things through. I miss her. I really do. It seems to me that she made me a better person. Seeing her today was good; no heart break anymore. I am able to see her as a friend, but that makes me miss the more-than-friends part we used to share. Yes, I miss sex, but thats not what I was referring to. I miss being able to share my complete self with someone and still getting called back. If I am totally honest with people, it seems like they either get scared or are uninterested or something. Maybe I just have to practice reading the signs. Either way, I miss the connection I used to have. I want that back.

The truth about me is I am who I am, and if you don’t like that, fine. I don’t give a shit. Honestly, I want to live my life for me. I also wanna meet someone who appreciates me for who I am, not for how I look or how I kiss or “play the game” or how I plan to vote or etc etc… In order to do this, I need to appreciate others for the same reason.

Therefore, I am sorry to anyone I’ve ever disrepescted, taken advantage of, or bitched at for being yourself.

Lindsay, don’t ever think I am upset with you or mad at you; you are too unbelievably good for that.

To all my friends who deal with me IMing them frustrations and links to my latest recordings… thank you for your patience and understanding.

Damn! I recorded three songs today. THREE! Thats like a helluva lot for me. Its usually one every 3 weeks. My microphone came in today, which is probably what spurred all the recording activities.

The breakdown is as follows:
1 Cover of Angels from Montgomery. Yes another. This one was a duet with a good friend, Lindsay aka “The Linzinater”
2 Originals:
1 With lyrics: Its called “Don’t Cheat Yourself”
1 Instrumental: “Eastern Skies”

All three are available on the art page at the link above (the one that says “Art”). If the links dont show up at first, click the little refresh looking arrow at the bottom of the art page.

What do you think of my ghetto fabulous recording studio: